Walking in a Blatter Wonderland

FIFA President Sepp Blatter is seeking re-election, and faces a tough challenge from Mohamed bin Hammam.  To boost his chances Blatter has released a campaign song, based on the famous Walking in a Winter Wonderland (linked at the bottom of the post), to remind the football world of his many great qualities:

I date sexy ladies,
and drive an SL Mercedes.
I get all my own way
in FIFA today.
I'm walking in a Blatter wonderland.

I make new rules up
every time there's a World Cup,
so great England bids
all hit the skids.
I'm walking in a Blatter wonderland.

In the media I can build a strawman,
then pretend that everything is sound.
They'll say: "Is it rigged?"
I'll say: "No man."
But Putin gets the job when he's in town.

Later on I'll conspire
with a rich Qatari buyer.
It's too hot to play,
and a crime to be gay,
but I'm walking in a Blatter wonderland.

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Snooker is Back in the Black

Approximately 18.5 million BBC viewers witnessed Dennis Taylor pot the final black of the final frame to defeat Steve Davis, and claim the 1985 World Snooker Championship.  Only a couple of decades earlier, however, snooker was in such dire straits that a recognizable World Championship was no longer contested.  The game was weighed down by dull players and its inadaptability to black and white television.  In the seventies, however, the influx of colourful new characters (particularly Alex Higgins) and the advent of colour TV initiated a snooker renaissance.  By the eighties snooker boasted a plethora of intriguing personalities (in addition to Higgins, Taylor and Davis, Jimmy White, Terry Griffiths, Cliff Thorburn and many others), and, assisted by imaginative marketing (in particular by Barry Hearn, who managed a number of top players), the game established itself as the UK’s second most popular spectator sport (behind football, of course); the 1985 World Final being the apex of snooker's popularity.  In short, Britain went ‘snooker loopy’ (the title of a successful record performed by Chas and Dave, with five players, all managed by Hearn, providing backing vocals).

And then the long decline began.  In the nineties a new breed of snooker player dominated the game, amongst them John Higgins, Mark Williams, and, in particular, Stephen Hendry; young men inspired by Davis and White.  This new generation of professional was single-mindedly dedicated and ruthlessly brilliant, but, with the exception of Ronnie O’Sullivan, lacking the colourful public personality that had been the game’s biggest selling point in the previous decade.  On top of this the presentation of the sport was becoming tired, and snooker was now plagued by incompetent and corrupt administration.  By the end of the ‘noughties’, just as it had been in the sixties, snooker was in a rut, and this time there seemed no way back.

But snooker is on the way back.  The average audience for the final session of the 2011 World Championship was over 50% higher than the previous year, seminal new events are being launched and the game is infused with a sense of excitement and anticipation not experienced for a long time.  More than anyone, two men, one young, and one not so young, are driving this revival.  Twenty-one-year-old Judd Trump may have narrowly failed to win the World title this year (having been worn down by the grit of John Higgins), but his breathtaking potting (probably the best the game has ever seen) and youthful exuberance, reminiscent of a young Alex Higgins, White or O’Sullivan, has captured the public’s imagination.  Meanwhile, Hearn has captured control of the sport, and refreshed it with his enterprise and infectious optimism.  Today, in Sheffield, one of his many innovations, Q School (inspired by qualifying schools in professional golf), kicks off.  More than 120 players are competing for 12 places on the 96-player professional tour (84 players are exempted from Q School, having qualified via their current ranking, or various other routes).

But, whilst snooker is a sport with momentum once more, most of the 12 players who negotiate Q School will make little, if any, money from the game.  The lowest ranked players on the tour will have to scrap to earn four figures, whilst having to meet travelling expenses that could reach five figures (especially if they are not British).  These players, obviously, have to earn their living elsewhere, so the professional tour is really a semi-professional tour.  To establish a comprehensively professional tour snooker needs to attract much more capital.  To attract much more capital snooker needs to appeal to the young and upwardly mobile.  But the young and upwardly mobile of the twenty-first century demand a new brand of fast and furious, and sexy, snooker, encompassing fewer frames, time limits on shots and a more boisterous atmosphere in the arena, for example, and many of the game’s established players are resistant to such radical changes (at least in world ranking tournaments).  All this leaves Hearn with the delicate balancing act of trying to bring new money into the game whilst simultaneously satisfying the old guard.

Snooker may be back in the black, therefore, but Barry Hearn is still trying to make the big break.

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The Miracle of Melwood

Has a top football team ever been turned around as quickly as Liverpool this year?  In January, under the tutelage of Roy Hodgson, the Reds were closer to a relegation dogfight than a battle for European qualification; vulnerable to defeat from every quarter (they lost to League Two’s Northampton Town in the Carling Cup).  Today, with Anfield’s favoured son Kenny Dalglish back in the dug-out, the club appears likely to deny Tottenham Hotspur the final Europa League place next season, an extraordinary outcome considering Spurs’ glorious campaign (a UEFA Champions League Quarter-final berth, and the PFA Player of the Year Award for Gareth Bale).

Liverpool have amassed a whopping 33 points under Dalglish (bettered only by Chelsea’s 35), including victories over the Blues, Manchester United and Manchester City (totalling six goals against the two Manchester rivals).  There were some changes to the Liverpool strike-force in the January transfer window (Fernando Torres out; Luis Suárez and Andy Carroll in), but this is only a small factor in the club’s revival.  The big difference stems not from changes in personnel, but a change of attitude.  Amongst current Premier League bosses, only Sir Alex Ferguson can match Dalglish’s motivational powers, and at the club’s training ground, Melwood, Dalglish has re-invigorated seasoned campaigners, such as Maxi Rodriguez, whose confidence had evaporated, whilst encouraging Liverpool’s young talent; John Flanagan, for example.

Liverpool’s 5-2 demolition at Fulham last night was the latest of many impressive performances (Rodriguez scoring his second hat-trick in three matches).  Fulham’s defence may have been even more embarrassing than the Michael Jackson statue situated at Craven Cottage, but Liverpool were rampant; thirteen goals in three matches is Barcelona-like form.  The fly in the ointment for Liverpool fans is the continuing uncertainty over Dalglish’s future at the club, though captain Steven Gerrard provided some reassurance whilst analyzing the Fulham game for Sky, indicating that a long-term contractual agreement is “around the corner”.

If Dalglish stays the top end of the Premier League could be exhilaratingly competitive next season.  United have been dominant in recent seasons (the title appears to be heading to Old Trafford for the fourth time in five seasons), but City are likely to embark on a massive spending spree this summer if, as expected, they qualify for the Champions League (enabling them to recruit a better quality of player), and Chelsea’s £50 million acquisition of Torres underlines Roman Abramovich’s wealth and determination.  By winning the League United will overhaul Liverpool’s tally of 18 top flight English titles, and, surely, nothing will motivate Dalglish more than attempting to re-establish Liverpool as English football’s most successful ever club once again.  Throw Arsenal in the mix, and there might be an authentic five horse race for the 2011-12 title.

By performing the miracle of reasserting Liverpool as a force in English football in a matter of months Kenny Dalglish has raised the spirit of the Anfield congregation, and raised their hopes that their prayers for a Premier League title may answered.

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Djokovic Poops Nadal's Party

It was a passionate love story, and a happy ending was much anticipated.  Spain’s world no.1, Rafael Nadal, returned to the capital city of his homeland, where adoring Madridians gathered at La Caja Mágica (the Magic Box), fully expecting their idol to successfully defend the Mutua Madrid Open.  After all, the “King of Clay” arrived in Madrid unbeaten in 34 outings on his favourite surface, and this tally was upped to 37 via a 5-7, 6-1, 6-3 dismissal of old rival Roger Federer in the Semi-finals (Nadal was able to reach the decider with only three wins, as his scheduled third round opponent, Juan Martín del Potro, withdrew).  On top of this, Spain’s greatest ever golfer, Seve Ballesteros, had tragically died the day before the final, aged only 54, and it would have been a fitting tribute to the three times Open and twice Masters Champion had Spain’s greatest ever tennis player lifted the trophy that weekend.

But the much anticipated happy ending failed to materialize.  Novak Djokovic had not read the script, and, instead, the Magic Box witnessed a spectacular conjuring trick; the Serb gliding to a 7-5, 6-4 victory; his first clay-court besting of Nadal.  In ending the Spaniard’s winning streak Djokovic extended his own, on all surfaces, to 32 consecutive victories in 2011, the best start to a year since John McEnroe notched 42 straight wins in 1984.

To beat McEnroe’s record Djokovic does not have to win Roland Garros (if he wins the Internazionali BNL d’Italia this week, losing in the final in Paris, as McEnroe did in his annus mirabilis, will get the job done).  But why should Djokovic have to settle for second best in France now?  Nadal may have won the clay-court Grand Slam five times in the last six years (losing only to Robin Soderling in 2009, when suffering from tendinitis in both knees), but Djokovic is playing the tennis of his life, and must no longer fear the Majorcan on any surface, particularly as Nadal has been less than convincing on clay this year, even before his loss to Djokovic.  He has been winning, yes, but not with his customary authority.

Ultimately, though, Djokovic’s undoing may be not technique, but endurance.  He may now possess the game to capture Roland Garros, but how much petrol is left in his tank?  McEnroe’s sublime natural talent enabled him to win those 42 matches relatively effortlessly, but Djokovic is more of a workhorse (in Madrid, for example, he needed three sets to overcome both David Ferrer in the quarter-finals, and Thomaz Bellucci in the semis).  The danger for Djokovic is that by the time the three Slams he has yet to claim, Roland Garros, Wimbledon and the US Open, come around his best tennis this year will be behind him, leaving him with only the less glamorous Australian Open in his Grand Slam trophy cabinet once more.

In Madrid Djokovic pooped Nadal’s party, but who will be partying when the biggest prizes of all are handed out?

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